Defining the Relationship
The Details

Posted November 08, 2017
Posted By Lisa Chan

This week our guest Gmail writer is Janet Miclean, PCC’s Connection, Care, and Women’s Pastor and, along with Brian Rhen, teaching pastor at our gatherings this upcoming Sunday, November 12.

Defining the Relationship (DTR): The uncomfortable talk no one wants to have about their dating status!

There are all sorts of blog posts out there about DTR conversations. DTRs let us know where we stand and if the relationship is going to move forward or not. Sometimes DTRs result in bliss, and some end in heartbreak! Have you had one (or two) of these conversations in your dating experience? I know I have, and some have gone better than others.

The phrases “Let’s just keep this casual” or “We’re just hanging out” are typical of dating relationships right now. Commitment to “couple status” is seen as the big leap. From the sound of some of the blog posts I have read, becoming a dating couple is almost tantamount with marriage! There is an anxiety around commitment and an extreme cautiousness about having a conversation that would Define The Relationship. Here are some pieces of “advice” from a few blogs I read about having the dreaded DTR:

    1. The best way to have the DTR is to NEVER have the DTR in the first place. If it’s a real relationship, it will just happen organically.
    2. Have the conversation casually and say something like “You know, for the past few months I feel like you’ve been acting like my boyfriend, is that fair to assume?”
    3. Another approach is to call him or her your boyfriend/girlfriend and see how they respond. If they respond negatively, back off!
    4. Most importantly, never have this conversation in an overly emotional state. (This one makes me laugh!)

I’m glad that we don’t have to worry about any of this in our relationship with God. He WANTS to have that DTR conversation with us. And we never have to be unsure about our status with Him. He is all in – always!

“We love because He first loved us …” (1 John 4:19).

“God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful” (1 Corinthians 1:9).

“He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5).

God is steady and trustworthy, but to be honest, the same can’t always be said of us. This week, the question Jesus asks us is “Why do you say Lord, Lord and do not do what I say?” This question cuts to the heart of our relationship with Jesus. Is He the Lord of your life? Jesus won’t settle for less – He loves you that much. Come this Sunday and let’s engage in this DTR with Jesus together. Remember, He is steadfastly committed to you. He can be trusted.

See you on Sunday!

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